Cainen M. Baker

Especially hard today.....on your 6th "angelversary" of passing.  The first year that Sunday falls on the 9th.  I still relive that shocking morning over and over. I want to be home so badly , so that I can come and visit with you, but traveling at this time never seems to work out for me.  I will be back though, the 2nd week of September this year. Then we'll get to spend time together at your place of rest.  Just know Cainen how much I am trying to get back to that area to be closer to you and your children.  They are so like you in so many ways......the good ways.  Cainen II is growning up so tall. He has your features and sense of humor. Very "quick witted..lol.   And Kenzie is the "thinker & observer"  and so filled with sweetness.  She has such a such a good heart.  You would be so very proud of both of them.  I love you son ...and miss you every single day. You are always with me.    So much love.......so much love

Gone 5 years now ...still so hard to believe/accept. 5yrs of missing your face...hearing you laugh...seeing you with your kids, and so many other memories.  It should be easier by now I suppose.  That's what some people say at least.  But not for me...not for your brother. We push on with our lives but we always remember,  and we always know that a piece of us left with you....a part of our soul we can't ever get back.  So do us a favor, Cainen and hold onto it tight until we can all be a family again.

You are forever loved......forever missed in our lives. 

4 years.   Still seems so unreal.   I think back to that morning when Beau called and I still feel the hurt--the emotions.   I had a cart full of groceries.   I just left them sitting in the store and somehow made out to my truck...driving back home...hoping and praying that there was some mistake.   It couldn't be true.   I get home and call your mother immediately and when she answers I just asked her to please tell me there had been a mistake and it wasn't true.   We cried together and tried to console each other as best we could.   It was just one of those moments that can never be forgotten.   We both love(d) you so much!
You'll always be in our hearts...never forgotten.   Love and miss you, Cainen!

Dad

4 years today Cainen.   I've often wondered how things would be different now.  How many more times you would have made me laugh.....how much more time would have been spent with your children watching them grow and just loving them.  You mean so much to so many.  Learning how to live without you has been so very difficult.  Alot of days I don't want to. 

But the sun keeps rising and setting and somehow, we figure out how to go on.  But not one day goes by that I don't think of you.... talk to you.....  say your name... and most of all LOVE you.

THAT I can promise will never change!

Until we meet again.....................All my love always
MOM

It's hard to fathom that you have been missed for 3 whole years today.  So much time.  Your children are growing up and you aren't here to participate in that.   To watch them grow, share their experiences ...laugh and cry with them.   God how we all miss you Cainen.   I remember seeing you with them an how important they were to you.  I hope you see that they are happy......but always missing you......loving you, as we all do
How I wish you were still here..........life would be so very different, especially where your kids are concerned. And I know you just wouldn't tolerate the things that have come to pass.

You are forever in my heart and on my mind daily.........that will never change.  As with your brother who has struggled so much since you left.........gone through things only you could ever understand.

We will all forever love you and miss you in our lives.   Be at peace baby.  No one deserves it more.

Well its been 2 years and it still hurts like yesterday!! I see the kids growing up without you and only imagine how proud you must be of them!! I know you watcj over us all and it helps to know it!! I miss you always and Love you forever!! I'd give anything for one more day even if I could just watch you with the kids it would be the greatest gift ever!! RIP Cainen, I love you so much and miss you so much it hurts!!

Cainen

 

Here we are again trying to endure another Christmas without you.  I remember when you were growning up and all the wonderful times we shared during this holiday season.  The times at home, in Kentucky and in Pekin.  I miss your face, your voice and that beautiful smile and sense of humor. I miss the long conversations we used to have about life.  I just miss you.  And love you so very much.

 

Be in the light of peace and love......always, Mom

I still can't grasp that you have been gone for an entire year.  It just doesn't seem possible and it is NOT getting any easier. Every day that passes is one more day that I don't get to see your face or hear your voice and I so miss our conversations.  I am grateful for all the years I had you in my life and I thank God for all of the memories you gave me.  The last time I saw you was on July 4th last yr when your Gramma was in the hospital.  We put her in a wheelchair and took her to the window so we could all watch fireworks together.  I will cherish that day for the rest of my life.  Spending it with you and the kids was the best.  Had I known then it would be our last time together, I would have talked to you about so many things.  Now I have to wait until we meet again and every day is agonizing.  I'm trying to move on but not sure how.   I just seem to be stuck since you left.   But I see your face in your beautiful kids and I know how much they meant to you, so in that way, you are always here with us.   Know that you are loved and missed so very much and that I carry you with me ...always.

Cainen,   you came to visit us this week on Mon, March 8th, 2010 to be exact.  It brings me such joy and peace knowing that you live on and are always around us.  I will always love you and miss you but I can move forward now because I know you are with me always and I look forward to each of your visits from now on.    Have also been told that you spend alot of time at your Grandma's house and at home watching over Jess and the kids.  Thank you so much for being with all of us. It means everything.   So, until next time.............I love you beautiful boy......Mom

Cainen--Do you remember when we lived in Normal?  Remember the afternoon it was raining--I think it was a Sunday afternoon.   You and Beau and me sort of camped out in the back of that black and silver Bronco II we used to have.   We laid out there just listening to the rain, singing songs.   Remember those stupid songs?   We sang all kinds.   Old McDonald's farm?   We just made up lyrics for it.   That was a fun day.   Laying in the back of the truck with both of my boys.   I wish we had had a lot more of those kinds of days.   I'll always remember that day.   If only I hadn't been so stupid--self absorbed or whatever.   I wasn't a very good father to either of you and I regret that.   It was never that I didn't love you--or Beau.   I just didn't know how to be a good father.   Thank you for forgiving me for that.   I hope someday Beau will forgive me, too.   I love you, Babe--and I miss you so very much.   DAD

Today is your 35th birthday and I remember the day you were born like it was yesterday. So to honor your memory we are going to release your balloons and cards at 4 pm today just about the time they laid you in my arms for the first time. A moment I will never forget as long as I live.  As much as I wish you were here to share this day with us, I know that you are at peace now and in no more pain.

 

Be happy and watch over your family and your children as you are forever in our hearts and on our minds.......till we meet again beautiful boy . 

I will always love you.......MOM        Hope you love what I am doing in your memory.

So, the holidays are upon us and I missed you so much at Thanksgiving.  So many good memories of holidays past.  Too few, that's for sure and you always gave us so much laughter and love,but you are always with me Cainen and forever in my heart. I just cant' grasp that it's already been almost 4 months since you had to go.....time stopped for me on that day and the more time that passes, the harder it seems to get because I can't fathom living the rest of my life without you in it.   Somehow....I get up each day and put one foot in front of the other and press on.   I'm not sure how I manage most of the time.

 

You are always on my mind and in my heart my sweet boy and I will love you forever.

I can't believe that you left us a whole month ago. I wish I could understand why you had to go. I know that I will never get over the loss. Right now, I'm just trying to get through it. Cainen, I keep you with me every minute of every day, and I know you're watching over all of us who loved you so much. Know that you are greatly missed and what an impact you have made on our lives.  Be blessed my sweet son, and ride with the angels !!!

 

Will love and miss you until we meet again.   MOM

My best memories of my bro was the fact that no matter what was going on he could always call and make me laugh, i miss you bro and the talks we use to have,  your here riding the wind and i know your watching over me  i love and miss and will never forget  iron aces foever d